A House Is Not a Home

Starting May 1st 2010, Piper and I (with the help of many many many others) have started the grand undertaking of a home renovation. Months before that, we began our planning for what we wanted, our timetable, and of course, $$$. It's been a blast but has definitely led to some stress. 

Essentially, we're renovating the top floor of our 1984 split level house in the Maple Leaf (North Seattle) area of town. This includes tearing out all the old stuff and putting in a brand new kitchen, 2 new bathrooms, new paint, new hardwood floor, new doors, new trim, a new fireplace surround/mantel, all new light fixtures, etc.

Here are a few pictures of our progress to date:

Picking paint colors has been the bane of our existence. Here's a few samples we tried before finding the right color for the kitchen. It took us 7 tries to get the color we liked for our kitchen, you'll see it later. Eventually we decided on "Mermaid Treasure" with medium base (not deep base) and 50% less color, satin finish. Which according to Piper, equals Tiffany color. It felt like work.

After tearing out our glue-down, attached pad carpet (it took 2 days, 3 different ppl), we realized there was one main egress area where the floor was off by more than 1/2". After a deep breath we tore up the plywood subfloor and planed/sawsalled the double-joist down to closer to flush. There are still areas that aren't perfectly level but thats ok, good enough :)

Kyun and Connie came over for a whole day one saturday and saved my butt big time. Kyun used his brute strength and demoed a whole bathroom while I battled with the other one. Here's a days work, no more sink, countertop, mirror, vanity, toilet, shower surround/pan, fixtures, and flooring. We also tore out a few doors that day and took 2 loads to the transfer station.

Now for the biggest part of our renovation, the kitchen: Before

1st day, task one: get all the cabinets

Bye popcorn ceiling, laminate floor, cabinets, and old appliances!

Tiffany colored paint and the start of our base cabinets.

And that's where we are to date. With 3 more weeks until we move (June 26th), there are still a LOT more things to do but we're getting there. We won't be completely done before we move in but it'll be close. The plan after all our interior work is done is to move outside when the weather is nice and work out there, we'll see if I'm not completed burnt out by then :)

All You Need Is Love

It's interesting, this being a father thing...

Most of the time I don't even feel like a father--mentally, spiritually or  physically. When you watch Piper and I with Zoey walking to Fred Meyer, it's pretty obvious Piper is a mother, in all the good ways. I just tag along or hold/push her along with my backwards Ms cap, flip flops, and sweatpants. (sidebar: Piper has promised the end of my life if I wear my jammies out of the apt one more time. )

When I play with zbear its almost like she's my niece or my little sister; like this little one is Connie's and Connie and Kyun are out of town and we're just babysitting or something. Maybe it's a coping mechanism, almost subconsciously not really considering her little life as under my sole care to shirk responsibility. (Shirk, good word Lin.)

Knowing that I'm responsible for so much, that I have so much sway in the direction of her life...that's a scary thing. When I see other father's around me, my dad being an obvious one, I think of all my shortcomings. I'm not as smart as Kyun, or as kind and patient as Ben. Or as wise as my dad, etc etc.

It seems EVERYone is more fit for fatherhood than me. Who's going to help zbear with homework? Who's going to say the right words when she's angry/scared/hurt and hiding in her room? I'm quickly realizing that I have nothing. But now I'm also realizing that all I can do is love her. My shortcomings can only be made up with unmatched quantities of love. The same way God loves me right? unconditional. Loving her is so easy but  there will be times where it'll be ridiculously hard. It's clear that all I need to provide for her is my wholehearted love.