1000 Miles Per Hour

That's how fast the plane was going when Piper and I were trying to change Zoey out of poopy diapers in the airplane-sized bathroom.

That's how fast the plane was going when the pilot warned of turbulent times to come. Little did he know.

That's how fast the plane was going when in mid-change (that'd be bare-buttocks for zbear), another deluge of poo oozed down Zoey's squirming leg and high-fived Piper's capris on the way straight into the diaper bag full of clothes, diapers, wipes, toys, you name it.

That's how fast the plane, and coincidentally the smell, was going through the air.

That's how fast the plane was going when, after an entire box of kleenex was spent, I used my bare hands to dig poo out of the baby bag and off the floor.

That's how fast the plane was going when deluge part deuce ensued.

That's how fast the plane was going when the steps above had to be repeated.

Ok fine I have no idea how fast a plane travels but I've made every blog title a song title or lyric. ok we were most likely traveling around 600 mph. whatever. I'm still going to embarrass zbear with this story someday in front of all her friends.